I'm drive I can fine osifer
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I party with great urgency now.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
