She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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