omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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