Don't you send me to vm
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
