it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
