And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
