dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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