Pappa wants mamma naked
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
