so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
