I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
These tits shall not be calmed
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