I wish you could order shots online.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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