yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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