I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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