we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
