I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
