we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
