Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
