I'd wear matching sweaters with you
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
