he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
