college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
