Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
