Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
