he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
