Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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