I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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