What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
