did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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