First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize