come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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