People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
