I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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