I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
