how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
