You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
