I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
