The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize