the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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