She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
