this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
