she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
As shirtless as possible
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize