this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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