The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
