the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
