mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
