He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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