Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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