My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
we're so committed to being not committed
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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