Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Verdict: uncircumcised.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
