What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
