my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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