i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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