OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
