Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize