we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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