so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
