why didn't you poke me back
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
